For Better or Worse
by MarisolM
Summary: They banished her because of a murder she committed to protect her son, but they never imagined that she would come back. My version of the story behind Ozai and Ursa.
1. Escape

_Disarm, one. Block, two. Swipe, three…_

They must have been far beyond the Capital's borders by now, as she could imagine, by the receding amount of noise that was gradually fading away from her ears. Ursa never _did _suit well in enclosed spaces – one reason her eyes were shut so tightly in that dark palanquin – and she had made a point to measure the distance by the volume of sounds she would hear through its walls.

_Three hours, _she counted. _These Fire Nation guardians had to have carried an exiled Lady of the Royal Court, on foot… out of the city… for over three hours now._

_How painful could it be for these men, _she thought,_ to fall into such blind loyalty?_

The Sages had wasted no time in seeing this banishment through, in the middle of that November night, just _hours _after this always-gentle Lady Ursa had single-handedly committed the most horrific crime in the Fire Nation. Pools of tears filled her eyes, but not of guilt. Hate.

She hated how the Sages had barely given her time to say goodbye to her babies. One small pinch of love on Azula's cheek was the only thing she could do to keep herself from crying, and Zuko… that brave, wonderful boy… there was no way she could've left without seeing his eyes.

As she remembered the warmth of holding her son that one final time, Ursa gazed into the dark nothingness of her moving prison, keeping a smile that only she could see. She held her plain-clothed cloak tightly over her head, knowing that soon, the guardians would stop. They would pound on her wall to make sure she was awake – alive – and offer her five minutes to be out of the palanquin.

_Rice, water, and the chance to relieve herself in the woods… everything under surveillance with chains around her wrists._

It would be the last time she would set foot on Fire Nation ground, as was traditional procedure to any banished citizen of a murderous crime. What would follow would be another arduous journey into the night, welcoming a sunrise with the exchange between a palanquin and a boat at the edge of the Capital island. Eventually, these loyal guardians would assure to the Court that their criminal had drifted off to dangerous seas with a day's worth of rice and a tiny bottle of poison… to certainly welcome death.

In the history of their Nation, no banishment had ever been executed poorly.

Ursa had made a point to know this in advance, because those five minutes would perhaps be the most crucial grains of time she would ever have… if she ever wished to see her loves again.

_Disarm, one. Block, two. Swipe, three. Throw four. Kick, six. Pierce, five (if necessary)._

She had practiced the movements alone in her bedchamber, not long after she and Ozai had started sleeping in separate quarters, because she knew… _she knew_ that the worst was yet to come. Azulon had poisoned her husband with these horrific ideas of power and conquest, and while she had made her vows of loyalty to the Fire Nation for all to hear, in her heart, she had made those vows to one man.

The man she was not meant to fall for, according to the plan of the Fire Sages.

_Oh, Little Dragon. _

She had come to the Capital as a girl betrothed to the great "Dragon of the West," had witnessed their cruel intentions unfold as she fell for the _other_ prince, and left it… completely stripped of her honor, with her husband now certainly doomed to madness.

As sick as it was to admit, she _rejoiced_ in smothering her father-in-law that night, since this was all his fault. It was _he_ who had taken her beloved Ozai's goodness, replacing it with dry ambitions to rule.

She had to go back. Ursa knew she would have to plan a way to return someday and save her family.

_But first things first_.

Suddenly, the palanquin shifted to a halt.

Then a rough pounding at the metal wall.

"Get up."

"Rest Stop, your Highn- er, Assassin Number Twenty Two."

Ursa shook her head from the inside, sadly. These men sounded no older than boys.

"Alright," she gathered with all her dignity, as she felt the hilt of a small blade reassure itself behind the long nape of her neck. "I'm ready."

She swiftly moved the knife as the men unlocked her palanquin hinges, placing it snugly inside one of her robe sleeves. Two dark silhouettes against the moonlight greeted her as they opened the palanquin, and her face stayed hidden in the shadows of her cloak.

One of them already had the chain dangling on his hand ask for her wrists, but Ursa did not give him that satisfaction. She simply gestured kindly for a hand to help her out of the palanquin, and by the time she had set foot on the ground… that hand had been detached.

_And those woods of darkness immediately awoke with human noise, and all Ursa could do was breathe, praying that all those years of Festival Stage-Combat had finally paid off._

* * *

_**A/N: Hello! **_**Has anybody been reading Avatar: the Promise, like I have? Well, SPOILER ALERT… part 1 of The Search left me in slight dissatisfaction, not just because of the fact that there's this (maybe false) theory that Zuko's not royal blood, but also that Ursa never wanted to be with Ozai! I refuse to believe that Ursa didn't love him, because it doesn't justify how Zuko claimed that his family was once very happy. The Search is implying that their relationship was cold and distant. My personal thought is, yeah, the Fire Nation Royals had skeletons in their closet, but something went down that made Ozai turn into the way he was. I wanted to write a story that focused on Ursa as a woman who was 1) obligated to enter royalty because of her Avatar ancestry and 2) genuinely in love with a man who happened to make poor choices based on where he stood in his family. I mean, Ozai is messed up, but there's gotta be a reason behind it, right? =P**


	2. Dragon Empress

"Ouch! Oy, do you _really _have to be so rough?"

The teenage boy scoffed over to his sparing partner, annoyed by the way she was trying to hide a giggle with her prop wooden staff.

"It's not like this is a dress rehearsal!"

"Sorry, Ikem," the young girl replied easily, swishing her long play-weapon back to a ready position. "I fought off two mongoose-wolves yesterday with this thing. I need to be more aggressive."

Ikem laughed, the Adam's apple in his throat bobbing like that of a proper man. It made the girl smile, but she hoped the color in her cheeks hadn't suddenly matched the _sakura_ pink of her garb.

"My dear lady, are you comparing your best friend to a mongoose-wolf?" Ikem teased, taking a bit of the sweat out of his forehead with the back of his free hand. "Let me remind you that if it hadn't been for my groveling at Master Gan, he would never have taken a girl into his summer theater camp."

The girl just shook her head that, though deep down, she knew Ikem was right.

Up until a few years ago, the department of arts and culture in the small city of Hira'a had been strictly male-oriented; even the roles of women in their plays had been given to young boys – the apprentices training to be full-time performance artists themselves someday. Ursa remembered that festival of Summer Solstice as a child, seeing it as a lovely birthday present when her parents took her out of their rural farm-town of Poulain to watch the tragic story of _Love Amongst the Dragons. _

It wasn't until one year, when she had snuck into the back of the stage during intermission to admire the brilliant costumes and makeup of the Dragon Court… that she realized it was _a boy _who had been playing the brave Dragon Empress opposite an older, more muscular-toned Dragon Emperor.

That boy had turned out to be Ikem.

He had been placing a finishing touch-up on his cherry red lips, and Ursa had felt more fascinated or shocked at such a revelation. But she hadn't scurried away. Ikem noticed her… that girl perhaps no older than ten… watching him with intrigue as he did his make-up in the mirror. Ikem had smiled at her warmly, gesturing for her to come closer while dozens of other boy actors seemed to swim in costumes between them. Ursa had stood still, nervously shaking her head with a 'no,' and so Ikem did the grand gesture of meeting her where she was.

The Dragon Empress looked so beautiful. Radiant. Magnificent. Ursa couldn't believe she'd been a _he. _A scrawny, fourteen-year-old boy, by the looks of it.

_Would you like to try some on? _Ikem had asked her, offering little Ursa the tiny red brush he had used to paint his lips. After what seemed a lifetime, Ursa had smiled and moved her head for a 'yes,' closing her eyes, letting her lips be painted a womanly red for the very first time. He had brought a small pocket mirror with his other hand, and when Ursa reopened her eyes, it was like she had been reborn into a Dragon Empress herself.

'What do you think?' Ikem asked, admiring the giant smile coming from this little girl. 'Cool, huh?'

Before the girl could say anything, the end-of-intermission bell had rung a bellowing _CLUNG! CLUNG! _and Ikem was called in for places. Ursa watched him disappear among the moving pool of costumes. When she finally returned to meet her parents outside in the spectators' hall, her father had almost spilled his tea at the redness of her lips. It wasn't until the performance had ended when little Ursa had tugged at her mother's sleeves and pointed to the ensemble of actors giving their curtain call on the stage, saying 'I want to do that!'

Her parents were reluctant – for good reason - to give Ursa that opportunity to shine.

War had become more and more of a common theme ever since Fire Lord Azulon had ascended the throne, and the peaceful town of Poulain did not want any part of this colonization of the Earth Kingdom. With Azulon's reign came the military requirement for all boys to serve their country for at least two years, and while her father and done his time and set free to work his family's farmlands... others had not been so lucky to return.

War had taken the boys of Hira'a out of their dreams of theater and arts, in order to use their stage-fighting and impeccable grace as training for the Fire Nation's army against the Earth Kingdom. At the age of fourteen, Ikem was declared a man, and called to duty to serve his country.

With many boys like him taken out to war, the department of arts and culture in Hira'a would have had to close its doors… had it not been for Ikem suggesting to Master Gan to bring girls in.

The opportunity was there. Ursa's parents could see it…in the bulletin boards… theatrical posters asking for girls aged ten and older to be temporary apprentice actors while the boys were on leave. Knowing it was what she wanted, her parents complied.

But there was a catch.

'Ursa, listen to me' her mother said, while the other patrons were quietly exiting the theater grounds. 'You know your grandfather's name, right? The one we always tell you about in our stories?'

The little girl gave her mother an odd look. 'You mean… the one whose name I'm never supposed to say?'

'Yes, sweetheart,' her mother caressed her daughter's face sadly, 'And there is a very good reason for that. When you're older, we will help you understand why our country hated him so much.'

Ursa's golden-brown eyes rose curiously, but desolately, wondering if there would ever be a day when her parents would stop promising things to her and actually talk.

Her father spoke, then.

'We think it best that you take on a _new_ name for as long as you are training here.'

'What?' Ursa gasped, 'But why? I love my name!'

She did; the story was that her grandmother Ta Min had been the one to honorably name her after_ such natural beauty and grace._

Her mother shook her head. 'Yes, dear, I know. But this will only be a temporary name… so that any ties between you and your legendary grandfather can be safely hidden.'

And so the girl nodded, but in a strange, abundant sliver of hope as her parents signed her up for the theater arts in Hira'a. She happily got to play with Ikem and the other boys during those few months before they were drafted out to Earth Kingdom sea.

For years, she would pretend to be the Dragon Princess while still feeding her family's keep of pig-chickens and fighting off their mongoose-wolf predators that would sneak into their coops. She would leap off of the fences and sneak stealthily into her mother's herbal greenhouse, concocting a fake version of magical potions that would disguise her dragon form into that of a human, and she would repeat the lines of the play naturally, poetically… as if she knew that someday… she _could_ grace that stage in Hira'a and steal Ikem's thunder the moment he would come back from war.

And he did. Injured and bruised, the boy returned from his active duty to continue his love for the theater. By the time he had returned, the arts council of Hira'a had brought in a handful of girls eager to work the costumes, the makeup, the lighting… and in most cases, the roles themselves. Ikem had let time pass between him and this little girl he had met backstage, watching her be as careful as a butterfly-crane as she applied makeup to the actors. As he let his battle-wounds heal, he taught the girl how to master the walk, the musical instruments, even the delicate fans that made the tiny servant-girl roles so difficult to get as an apprentice actor.

But here she was, at the age of fifteen, playing fiercely with the long wooden bow-staff in the hopes of getting that role she always wanted.

Ikem could see that sparkle in her eyes. She could _feel_ that this was her year, and she had only a few days before she could audition for _Love Amongst The Dragons_ for the first time as a potential performer.

She could see the weight of each sparring blow that Ikem threw at her during that quiet sunset that _this_ was what she was meant to do.

_Where she was meant to be._

"..._and though I was trapped in the body of a mortal," _Ikem began to recite to her, "_you willingly gave me your heart._"

"_Only with your glory hidden in false form could you finally recognize my devotion!_" the girl responded promptly, throwing her staff down in a resting position with a huge grin on her face.

Ikem rested his weapon as well, and politely gave a respectful bow to his most devoted apprentice.

"It has been a great honor to work with you, my lady Zuko."

And though the girl kept her smile, that sparkle in her eyes had momentarily begun to fade.


End file.
